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In 2034, his doping helped China win more than 500 Olympic gold medals. In 2004, how will he be cheating the world of soccer with his dope? Chelsea, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Milan, all the giants will have me; Raul, Kaka, Cairo, Messi, Rooney, Owen, Torres, all the superstars will have to be coached by me; Ferguson, Wenger, Mourinho, Ancelotti, all the legendary coaches will have to be at my mercy; singers, models, soccer babes, movie stars, journalists, sports babes, uh... ...and preferably with a bit of a twist, my name is Joe Van Horn, known as Joe Cannon!